I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
