so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
