Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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