this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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