dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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