bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
