Just mADE A PArabola og urine
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
