you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
