Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize