I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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