I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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