so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
