last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
