Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
