Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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