I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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