Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
