the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
