You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
