ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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