i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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