Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
