I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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