just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
