Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
