you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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