First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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