I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
