He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
