I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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