I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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