Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
