i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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