i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
do herpes really smell.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I want to be your penis for a week.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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