her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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