THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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