Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
