I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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