well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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