See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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