your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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