if only i could text you this smell
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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