I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
