every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
