Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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