I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
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She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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