hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
