I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
