do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
