No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize