I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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