Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
