I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize