Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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