i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just want nice things and good sex
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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