So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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