The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she peed on how many people?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
