He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything