the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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