I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
