I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
