awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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